A Broken Record

It's been so long, I don't know where to begin...

I had a conversation recently with a dear friend about the Christian's walk and it's ups and downs.  There are times in your walk where you are over the top in love with the Lord.  You long for time with him...you just can't wait to sit at Jesus' feet and glean from his wisdom through his word and prayer.  You just aren't complete without it!  These are the mountain tops.

Then there come times where you feel distant from him.  His close presence isn't felt, in fact, you feel the Devil more!  It's a discipline, not a desire, to spend time in the word and prayer.  You feel a little defeated and weary.  These are the valleys.

I've been in a valley for awhile and, honestly, I haven't felt like writing.

I kinda feel like a broken record.  My outcry to the Lord went a little something like this:

"Don't you get tired of me?  I'm tired of me!  My prayers are always the same!  I do do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I do want to do.  It's exhausting..."

Thus the broken record that keeps playing the same old song.

Instead of leaving me in the valley of defeat, my God chooses to walk me thru them and up to higher ground-each and every time.  He never tires of me, for he knows the outcome of my life.  That makes me want to weep, in fact, I am as I write this.  All the victories and defeats are carefully under his gaze.  At my lowest, he is there to lift me up.  At my highest, he is there to keep me level.  He is my strong tower, my refuge and my deliverer! Oh, how grateful and blessed I am to know the One who hold every tear in a bottle, who wants good for me not harm, who runs to embrace this prodigal child as she wanders home dirty and used by the Enemy.  Lord, you are beautiful and I am garbage, but for you your Son...and he loves me anyway!

You see, this broken record can be fixed.  During my outcry to the Father the other day,  He gave me a verse that is now emblazoned on my heart.  I now have 2 life verses.  The first is Jer 29:11 and now I also have Phil. 2:13.

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." 

As I memorize and meditate on this word, I feel the presence again and the power with it.  He has not quit working, even when I have.  It promises hope and desire...a new start, for his mercies are new every morning.

I know this post is off topic as it doesn't contain the word phroneo, but at least it's in Philippians LOL
I know there is someone else out there who feels like a failure and needs encouragement.  God bless you, friend, you are not alone.  May God speak his love and purpose over you as you read this.

And be assured...the mountain top is coming soon!