Am I asking too much??

The alarm goes off and it begins....the lists.

Get dressed.
Get the kids ready.
Make lunches.
Go to work.
Meet deadlines and goals.
Work reports.
Drive home.
Make dinner.
Clean up the messes.
Do laundry.
Do dishes.
Go to church.
Read your Bible.
Pray.
Serve others.
Give your tithe.
Sing in the choir.
Serve in the nursery.
Follow commandments.
Love others.
And on and on and on it goes...

You add into that life's drama of families being ripped apart around you, health scares, death and dying, close calls and it can all be a bit much to take!  Anybody????  Bueller???

This morning, on a rare Monday off due to a sick child, I got to just sit.  Just be.  I picked up a prayer card that I was supposed to have done over a week ago.  Micah 6:8 is the verse.

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God."  ESV

Great...another list!  Not a great spiritual moment for me.

So, like I always do, I researched the history behind the verse and the context.  And lo and behold...the Israelites had the same attitude I did!  Check out the rest of the chapter and you'll see what I mean.  The first 5 verses are God telling them that he has a bone to pick with them.  He's the judge and the defendant is guilty of leaving God, not the other way around (which is the way we like to see it).  He'd delivered them from Egypt and THEY walked away from him.  In verse 6 and 7, Israel responds from the witness stand in bitterness and resentment.  "What do you want from me?  Are a thousand offerings good enough?  Give you my firstborn? You ask way too much!" (I totally paraphrased that.)  And God responds.  "Nope, it's actually very simple.  Do right by your fellow man.  Love mercy and kindness and walk humbly before me."  (again my paraphrase)

When my heart is overwhelmed, God simplifies.
When I say God, you ask too much!  He says, Really??  Three things, Beth....3.

1. To do justly.  To what is RIGHT to other people.  Treat them how I'd like to be treated.

2.  To love mercy/kindness.  I like how David Guzik puts it: "Don't just show mercy, but LOVE to show it."  I don't think I ever run to show mercy.  Much less LOVE it!  Note to self...work on that one.

3.  Walk humbly before your God.  There is the kicker.  Humbleness.  Charles Spurgeon said, "When you have found out what you REALLY are, you WILL be humble, for you are nothing to boast of."  Walking humbly before Him changes all those lists of things to do because it changes perspective.  I am nothing without him...nothing!  Spurgeon gave me a new list today:

Walk humbly when you are spiritually strong.
Walk humbly when you have much work to do.
Walk humbly in all your motives.
Walk humbly when studying God's word.
Walk humbly when under trials.
Walk humbly in your devotions.
Walk humbly between you and your brothers in Christ.
Walk humbly when dealing with sinners.

O Lord, I pray that humbleness starts in my heart.  That is overflows into my life.  That I will fall at your feet, knowing the state I am in is not worthy of any boasting.  YOU are any good in me!  I pray that I would surrender my lists to you and focus on 3 things.  To love others, show mercy and kindness and walk before you.  Humbly. I love you, Abba.

A Year For Consistency

Here we are at the beginning of a new year.  2016!!  It's been almost 2000 years since Jesus walked this earth in the flesh. 2000 years of sinful natures taking control.  I am in my 36th year of it.

As I began to pray over the word God would have me focus on and study this year, I was overcome with sadness that I didn't focus on obedience last year, like I said I would.  I may have obeyed him some of the time but never close to all the time.  In fact, I gave up trying round bout Feb.  Yes...I'm a sad creature.  I'd enjoyed 2014's study on phroneo- to set (see previous blog entries). But 2015 just wasn't a great year.  I'm not sad to see it go...good riddance!  I am hopeful that this year will hold exciting things.  No matter what may come.  

As I looked back, God showed me just how inconsistent I was...to Him, to my children, my husband, my health.  When God takes you down memory lane, everything else pales in the comparison of His holiness and goodness.  All my feeble efforts are garbage.  All of my excuses sound stupid to my ears.  I wanted to cover my head and weep!  And I did a little bit.  On Sunday. On stage.  There I am just ugly crying in front of everyone.  Didn't even care!  God and I were truly having a moment.

This world and God's children in particular NEED to feel that conviction of sin more!  We don't.  We don't weep over our sin and what we are doing to the Father who loves us beyond imagination!  We don't have fire falling from heaven or plagues or pestilence like the Israelites did.  We just flip God the bird and keep right on living like we want to.  

The first verse of the year for me is well known.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.  His mercies never come to an end.  They are new every morning.  Great is your faithfulness!" Lam. 3:23

Pretty isn't it?  Poetic.  Pleasing.  Tickles the ear and makes ya feel better.

I don't think we truly get the power of that verse until you get the devastation of the verses before it.  Jeremiah, a mournful soul, is lamenting (as he is known to do) here over conviction of sin. Jeremiah was called at a young age to deliver the message that God's people were going be taken captive by the Babylonians because God was REALLY unhappy with them.  They did what they wanted, when they wanted and with whomever they wanted.  Worshiped all manner of gods other than the One who'd called them to himself.  Jeremiah wasn't a popular fellow LOL  Because of his message, I believe God probably let Jeremiah see and feel the effects of sin.  And it changed him.  

He talks of "the rod of His wrath" (vs.1), God's hand against him (vs.2), feeling like he was "wasting away" (vs.4) and wandering around in darkness (vs.6).  Heavy chains (vs.7) and prayers hitting the ceiling (vs.8).  To everyone else, he was an object of mockery (vs. 14), walking around so morose all day.

Ever been there?  Feeling so low that food tastes like gravel and even your friends can't help you feel better?  As unhealthy as that sounds, I need a good dose of it every now and then.  Not so that I can then take on a form of pride that says I'm never gonna get better, I'm worthless, but so I can shout from the rooftops that even though I am such a loser---GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS!

God could smite me dead.  He has that right.  BUT, His lovingkindness or steadfast love never fails.  NEVER. NOT ONCE!  He, instead of killing me where I stand, looks on me with love and gives me mercy.  All.the.time. New every morning.  

So, the question I thought to myself was this...

"Why do I test His mercy so much?"

Thankfully, He gives it freely, but why don't I see that as the gift it is and TRY not to sin.  Instead of willingly running right to it?!  I know I can't do it on my own and I haven't even TRIED to tap into the Holy Spirit.  TRIED to lean on him.  I've actually tried NOT to!  Thus flipping God the bird.  UGH....makes me sick!

This year...Consistent is the word.

-Consistently leaning on Him to avoid the trappings of sin

-Consistently spending time in the Word and in prayer

-Consistently putting my children in His face

-Consistently disciplining said children

-Consistently showing love

-Consistently eating better

-Consistently breaking strongholds

And I will proclaim:

"Thank you for your love that never ends.  For a new day and new mercies with it.  Keep me from walking away from you today.  Great is your faithfulness to me, O Lord!"